"THE
DNA OF SUCCESS" by Jack M. Zufelt
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Additional thoughts
of Graham White in highlights.
I
can't motivate you, you are the only one that can motivate you. I want
to empower you with the knowledge that you CAN achieve your Incredible
Potential so that you can motivate yourself.
If you have any
problems in your life--be they financial, marital, or parental--you will have
to learn new ways to solve them. With so much to learn, it is difficult
to know where to begin.
Learning is not
limited to going to school or getting a degree. It's surprising that
many people stop feeding their minds after a certain point (usually high
school). A large university once took a survey of its recent graduates
and found that 90 % hadn't read a single book since they'd left school.
Life
is difficult because it requires the four things we find hard:
- Listening
- Caring
- Learning
- Growing
Success Attitude = (Core Desires +
Direction) X Proper Action + Persistence.
Many successful people simply cannot
explain what they do and how they do it to others. It isn't that they're
unwilling to share, but rather they lack the ability to do so. They
just don't have the ability to consciously break down the hundreds of steps
that they do intuitively that contribute to their success.
If we are proactive and do the things
that are difficult before they are forced on us, when situations outside of
our control happen, they are easier to deal with.
Motivational speaker, although they
are entertaining and enlightening, do no create change in people. People
stay motivated for only a short amount of time before life catches up with
them again and forces them into the same pattern they were living before.
WHY WE FAIL:
- We don't know what
we truly want
- We expect too much
too soon
- We stop at the first
sign of difficulty, instead of persisting a little longer to attain
our goal
- We habitually
compare ourselves with others and see all that they are and we are not
- We are intimidated
by the enormity of the task and tend to do nothing (procrastination)
- We can't see the end
of the tunnel, so we believe our condition is a permanent state
IDENTIFY YOUR CORE DESIRES
Core desires are the things you want
so badly that you will do, or become, whatever it takes to get them--no matter
how hard it is or what the risk. When you're pursuing your core desires,
you experience ongoing constant gratification. You lose yourself in what
you're doing.
Most things that are worth achieving
require that you put great effort into them. Usually, the more
worthwhile the desire is, the more effort it will require. You won't put
forth all that effort unless you are pursuing a true desire.
What makes work work?
When you don't like it. When you love doing something, you don't mind
the effort required; in fact, you may call it fun.
Have you noticed that when you have
your heart set on something it usually happens? Why? Because in
the pursuit of your heartfelt desires, you exercise real initiative, resourcefulness,
creativity and endurance--you simply find a way to make it happen. You
do whatever it takes to get you what you want.
Don't let anyone tell you that
success has to do with money or power. Success has to do with living on
your terms and ultimately making a difference. To live your days in such
a way that if the time comes where you face some kind of illness, or if
something happens that changes your path and shortens your days, that you can
say, 'Okay. If today is my last, I'm prepared.'"
Don't make a choice of any kind,
whether in career or in life, just because it pleases others or because it
ranks high on someone else's scale of achievement, or even because it seems
the logical thing to do. Make the choice to do something because it
engages your heart and your mind--all of you.
We know that there is a better way to
live, but often we keep this thought to ourselves because we are not sure what
to do about it. Creative people are playful and responsible at the same
time. They work not for the result of the work they are doing, or for
fame. They work for the sheer joy and exhilaration of doing it. It
comes from a deep desire to create something beautiful. Each of us can
spend our lives doing what we love to do.
Inherent talent--an inborn
predisposition--is the wiring in one's system that is unique to each
individual. We can either identify and develop the specific talents and
capacities we have or leave them buried. Peak performers find compelling
reasons to cultivate relevant inherent talents.
Wouldn't it be great if everyone
could identify their Core Desires before going to college, or at least within
the first year? Just think how much time and money would be save.
IDENTIFY WHAT YOU DESIRE MOST:
- What make you
happy?
- What makes you
laugh?
- What would I love
to do to help others?
- What do you want
for your spouse and children?
- If you didn't
have to worry about money, what would you do?
- If you had these
things, what would it give you and how would it make you feel?
Money cannot make you happy, but it
can rid you of many things that make you unhappy. To make a lot of money
and to prosper are not selfish acts. It is an intelligent and caring
person's responsibility to use his or her purpose and potential to achieve
prosperity in all areas of their life.
TEN TIPS FOR FISCAL FITNESS
- Want to make more
money so badly that you will do whatever it takes--for as long as it
takes--to make it happen.
- Love what you are
doing, not just part of what you're doing.
- Believe in your
product and service and know your field.
- Believe that you
are worth listening to. Others will have confidence in you when you
believe in yourself.
- See yourself as a
leader, someone who has something important to contribute.
- Find mentors to
emulate-not only what they do but who they are.
- Be
teachable. Learn whatever your mentors are willing to teach
you.
- Believe that
every problem has a solution and that no problem is big enough to stop
you.
- Get out of your
comfort zone and take risks.
- Acquire and
present an air of confidence in yourself and whatever you do.
In the financial area of your
life, do you INSIST become part of your life?
If you answer "To be financially
independent", this may rate an 80 on a scale of 1-100, but it is not your
Core Desire. Ask yourself the question: "If I were financially
independent, what would that give me that I don't have now?" You
may answer, "It would give me the freedom to do what I please."
Ask yourself, "If I were free to
do as I please, what would that freedom look like? What would that give
me that I don't have now?" This is where people get stuck.
Often they have a hard time clearly defining their answer, so they repeat the
previous answer.
If you find yourself getting stuck,
just ask the question in a different way: "If I were financially free,
what would that give me that I want but don't have? What feelings
would that give me?"
You may say, "Oh, I know!
I could spend more time with my family!" Or "I could quit
working at a job I hate." These emotional responses are your CORE
DESIRES. These are the 100's, and you should only spend your time and
energy pursuing desires that hit the 100 mark on your Core Desires Scale.
If your answer were: "If I were
financially independent today, I'd be free from the stress and worry of not
paying the bills," you'd not be far from your true Core Desire. But
what words jumped out at you as you read that last answer? Were they paying
the bills or free from the stress and worry?
If you chose the latter, you'd be
right on. However, there are many ways to reduce stress and spend more
time with the family, even without being financially independent. Being
financially independent would be nice, but what you really want is to be free
from the worry, stress, or guilt of not being with your family as much as you
would like. Knowing that stress and worry are the real issues could give
you many more options for achieving those Core Desires.
It doesn't take being financially
independent to be free of guilt or worry. You may need more money, but
just how much more money would it take? You'd be surprised by what
saving two hundred dollars a month would do. It might take some aggressive
budgeting or reducing your car payments by selling your second car. Just
changing your attitude can rid you of heaps of worry and stress.
In your social life, what would
you like to have that you're not getting right now?
You may answer, "I just love
helping others, and I'd love to do that more." Again, this may be a
90 on your scale, but it is not your Core Desire. Ask yourself, "If
I were able to help others more, what would that give me or make me feel that
I am not getting now?" When you answer "It makes me feel
valuable, important or appreciated," these are Core Desires.
In the area of self-esteem and
self image, what would you like to have in your life that you don't have right
now?
You may say "I'd like to be more
confident around people." Though this may be true, it is not your
Core Desire. "Having my thoughts and feelings heard and validated
is important to me," is the thing that matters and is your Core Desire.
If you had ______________, what
would it give you that you are not getting now?
Procrastination comes from not
wanting to do something or not knowing how to make it happen given your
circumstances. Sometimes it is too painful to keep looking at what you
really want but believe you can't ever have, so you never look at it.
This doesn't make the feelings go away, it just pushes them deeper down into
your heart.
It's not a matter of can you
learn what it takes, it's a matter of do you want to learn it.
When you want something enough, you will do whatever it takes for as long as
it takes to get it.
Having a life in which everything
you do is driven by things you love to do or be is the most satisfying and
fulfilling way to live.
When you identify and focus on your
Core Desires, you unleash the Conquering Force--that potent, God-given force
that causes everyone to accomplish everything and anything. This
unstoppable Conquering Force already resides within you. Everything that
you do, have, or become is a direct result of it. It is the reason you
have achieved anything of significance to date--including learning how to
walk, talk, tie your shoes, drive a car, swim, ski, play an instrument or
sing.
When you act on your Core Desires,
the outcome is often far grander than what you might imagine. Outcomes
are often not what you expect and yet you always find yourself completely
satisfied with the way things work out. (Wally Amos)
We can rise to any height when we
passionately believe that our lives are wrapped up in a cause that gives us a
sense of meaning and significance. When we see how our efforts
contribute to a larger cause, or a worthy purpose, we fulfill one of our
deepest desires--the desire to make a difference. When we know that our
lives, and our work, have meaning, we still have energy at the end of the
day.
When you're driven from within,
nothing can stop you!
Many people think opportunity only
knocks once; others believe it knocks may times. Opportunity doesn't
knock at all. YOU must knock.
SERENDIPITY
Incredible things happen
independently of those you personally create. When you're pushing hard
on door A, someone or something opens door B. Often, when you look
through door B, what's behind it is much better than what you were going after
in the first place. However, you wouldn't have seen door B open if you
hadn't been in the hall pushing door A. When you have faith and
confidence in yourself, you will do more and attempt more.
Everyone is "just-a" human
being with all the abilities and attributes God gave us at birth. We
can do, have, or become whatever our hearts desire. The potential of any
human being is immense.
Don't listen to negative people who
have never accomplished what you intend to do. People cannot bring you
to a level they have never achieved, but they sure can be discouraging.
Tiger Woods said that he was fascinated
with golf because his father seemed to enjoy it so much.
EVERYTHING INVOLVES RISK
In order for people to succeed in
business they need self-confidence, drive and energy, the ability to deal with
uncertainty and confusion and finally, persistence. These attributes
come naturally when you're doing what you truly want to do.
Many people dart from one hot deal to
the next, like moths to a flame, thinking each will be their golden
opportunity, but getting burned every time. Why? Because they
don't change or become the kind of person it takes to make money from any
business opportunity.
Many income opportunities exist, and
many individuals who get involved make a great deal of money. Yet many
more individuals get involved in the same opportunities and never achieve
financial success. Although the company, the products, the training and
the commission structures are the same for everyone, only those who are
doing it because it is part of their Core Desires will ever have the
success they truly seek.
Money is the seed of money and the
first dollar is sometimes more difficult to acquire than the second
million. Jean Jacques Rousseau
Your ability can be obscured by your
personal appearance. Thousands of people have a self-imposed handicap
because they don't present a sharp personal appearance. (makeover
shows)
Your outward impression can determine
the level of your success. Studies have shown that actors with no
experience in a field who are shown how to make a good impression will get the
job over someone who actually knows what they're doing, but doesn't have the
polished appearance or interpersonal skills. You
are perceived to be successful when you appear to be successful.
We all have unique gifts.
The challenge we are faced with is to discover our gifts and then make full
use of them by serving others. That is how we are fulfilled.
Men and women receive love
differently. The primary way to love a man and help him get in touch
with his feelings is to appreciate him for what he does. You must
repeatedly send him the message that he makes a difference, that his actions
are worthwhile. You must also let him know that when his actions are
mistakes, they are forgivable. You must assure him that he is accepted
just the way he is. If you try to correct him or tell him what to do, he
will only resist. And if he does not resist he will weaken; he will lost
touch with the inner guidance that he needs to control his actions.
Women need to feel in control of their feelings. The way to nurture a
woman's soul is to give her the support she needs to freely express herself,
to talk about her feelings, her wants and wishes. Don't try to correct
her feelings or talk her out of her feelings. If she is feeling bad or
afraid or angry, do not be critical of that.
Once we have learned how to make a
difference in our partner's life, we can go out and make a difference in the
world. When you give of yourself without expecting anything in return,
you become a bigger person." John Gray
People will not remember exactly what
you said, but they WILL remember how you treated them.
Far too many people are trying to do
more to be happy instead of trying to be more.
Don't
do more, BE more...then you can do more.
There
are bad habits...like smoking, and there are undeveloped habits...like not
being organized. You may know how to do it, you just do it badly, or
have a poor idea of how to do it. What you need is the knowledge and the
practice and you can finally achieve your goal.
Some
are created as easily as pressing a button on your computer, but most take
time, sometime years to fully develop.
Remember that growth is a
patience-testing, step-by-step, lifetime process and adversity is part of
it. Problems, barriers, and even major disasters are a part of
life. It is up to you to decide to deal with them.
How
do you learn to ask the right questions? You focus on the solution, not
the problem. Ask questions about achieving the solution, not overcoming
the problem.
We choose if--and how--we grow.
Life gives us the opportunity to grow. Whether or not you
grow is your choice. People who risk little, grow little.
Change requires that you make
different choices. You always have choices and you control the choices
you make. Lasting dynamic personal growth takes place within your
heart. If you can change your heart, you can change your
destiny.
You may not experience immediate
growth just because you accept a truth in your mind; you must also feel it in
your heart. Your mind has the ability to learn and apply what it knows;
your heart provides the reason to put the knowledge to work.
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