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** GUARANTEE SUCCESS by Graham White **
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There are only two
ways we accomplish any task or habit:
1. We were
raised well and it has become part of our natural routine.
2. Something
significant happens and we choose to succeed, no matter what it takes.
This is the more difficult of the two.
The idea that
having good habits instilled in us when we are young is easy to
understand. We all learned to get up, get dressed and head out to work
or school. Most of us have learned to do this in a way that allows us to
arrive on time.
Those who did not
develop the ability to be on time when we were young are an example of the
second way to succeed. Something must create significant motivation to
cause us to develop this habit. It may be getting fired from a job we
really enjoy. It may be losing an opportunity that was important to
us. It may be a very embarrassing moment caused by our lateness.
It may be an accumulation of moments that finally push us into action.
It has been
described as "hitting bottom". The challenge with this is that
until you "hit bottom" you can't create the drive to overcome the
challenge. You may feel guilty, want to change, know how to change and
even be part of a support group, but until your drive matches the challenge,
it's impossible to succeed.
There are a vast
number of programs that help people deal with any issue.
Information itself is not enough, neither is desire. It must be a
combination of drive that matches the challenge, information and some form of
accountability to achieve your goal. If we didn't develop the ability
when we were young, we have to "hit bottom" before we can succeed.
There are ways to
"hit bottom" without destroying your life. They are mental
tools that allow you to take a look at the most dire consequences of your
inability to succeed. Here are some examples:
- Imagine your life
from the perspective of watching your own funeral. What will people
be saying? Will you be proud of what you accomplished? Have
you hurt people or helped people that are important to you? Do those
who know you respect you, or simply tolerate you? If you don't like
what you see, YOU have to change.
- Focus on the legacy
you are leaving your children. You can tell your children whatever
you want, but it is your actions they learn from. Your children
become you. Do you want them to have the same type of life, the same
types of experiences, the same types of advantages or disadvantages that
you experience? If not, YOU have to change.
- Write down
everything you are losing or missing out on because of your
behavior. Rather than waiting for all of this to happen or continue,
face the reality and use the realization that you are paying a huge price
to motivate you to work on developing a new set of behaviors. Dr.
Phil calls it "Getting Real".
- Look at the effect
you are having on the people and activities that are important in your
life. Are you headed towards divorce? Are you unable to do the
things you enjoy because you are too busy or too broke? Is the
stress of your life pushing you to an early grave? Are you
alienating those you would like to spend time with because of your
behavior?
Knowing this
still won't be enough, but your awareness of these tools may move you to a
place that causes you to take action sooner than had you not known them.
Knowing that you
won't change until you are actually motivated to succeed no matter what the
cost will hopefully allow you to decide not to waste your time until you have
reached that point.
Something still has
to be a catalyst that causes you to really want to make that change. It
may be an event in your life, an inspiring seminar or actually "hitting
bottom".
Graham White www.incrediblepotential.com
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If you are
currently dealing with a challenge or you are deeply concerned about the
situation of another but don't know how to help, e-mail your question for a
reply with the specific strategies that you can implement in yourself to
encourage them to change.
info@incrediblepotential.com
Graham White www.incrediblepotential.com
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