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** DELAY GRATIFICATION by Graham White**
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If I were asked for a description to the key to success, I would say
"Delayed Gratification". Every concept of success is tied into
some form of Delayed Gratification.
The problem is, we live in a world of Instant
Gratification:
- Instant News
- Instant Dinners
- Buying on Credit
- Instant Millionaires
- Overnight Celebrity
- Microwave Dinners
- Fast Food
- High Speed Internet
- Movies On Demand
With everything available on demand,
how can we learn to develop the things that take time?
- Character
- Loyalty
- Empathy
- Discipline
- Courage
- Strong Work Ethic
- Patience
- Self-Control
- Contentment
Watching the coverage of the War on
Iraq, I was struck with the reporters constantly asking the question, "How long will the war
last?", the response being, "As long as it takes."
As the war looked like it was nearing an end, the question changed to,
"What type of infrastructure is going to be put in place to run the
country?", the response being, "The war isn't even over
yet. The question is premature."
Our desire for immediacy ultimately
costs us the very thing we are seeking.
- Instantly satisfying
our stomach makes us fat
- Instantly satisfying
our material desires makes us broke
- Instantly satisfying
our sexual desires leads to divorce
- Instantly satisfying
our desire for money leads to unfulfilling work
- Instantly satisfying
our ego offends our peers
- Instantly satisfying
our immediate focus leads to disorder
- Overall, instant a
life of instant gratification leads to a shallow, hollow, disconnected and
impersonal existence.
In the book "Emotional
Intelligence", Daniel Goleman talks about a study of 4 year olds who
were told that if they could wait 15 minutes to eat the cookie on the table in
the room, they would get two. The children from that test were tracked
and a survey was taken of their success in life at age 18. That single
test was the greatest predictor of their success in school, popularity with
peers and students and estimation of their future success. Guess which
group, the ones who waited 15 minutes or the ones who ate the cookie without
waiting, went on to be highly successful?
Unless you endure severe
consequences, chances are you aren't going to change your gratifying behavior
overnight. If you eat to satisfy your emotional needs, you won't stop
because you tell yourself you need to delay gratification, but there are
things you can begin to change.
You can begin to wait. Push
yourself just a little bit longer. Take the important first steps in
overcoming your weak area. Set up consequences that are more painful than
the gratification is worth.
Become aware of the things you do to
instantly gratify your needs. Determine that you will become more
successful and take small, easy steps towards changing the way you
behave. Take your time, be prepared to fail,
but focus on your end goal and what it is going to provide you with once you
achieve your objective.
Graham White www.incrediblepotential.com
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