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* MOVING CONSISTENTLY TOWARD SUCCESS by
Graham White *
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How consistent are
you?
Do you treat
strangers the same way you treat your friends and family? Are you the
same person when you're alone as you are when you know that people are
watching?
One thing I've
discovered as I interview and study successful, balanced people is that they
are extremely consistent. They treat strangers, co-workers, associates,
friends and family with the same level of dignity and respect. Their
actions demonstrate that they respect everyone they interact with,
regardless of their position or length of relationship. They even treat
people who they dislike with dignity.
Certainly there are
those who have accumulated a great deal of financial wealth that don't possess
this quality, but... they lack the abundance of joy and absence of stress that
those who live their life in balance experience.
Why worry about
people you may never see again? Why take the time to be sensitive to the
needs of people you don't particularly care for? Why keep control of your
temper when it's the other person who has the issue and escalated the
situation? What's in it for you?
-It gives you the opportunity to Practice.
Because successful
individuals consistently control their temper, because they consistently
treat everyone with dignity and respect, listen carefully to others and they do their best to
put themselves into the others shoes - they are able to do call on those
qualities when it is most important, even when things heat up.
How do you react in
traffic? What do you say under your breath as people cut you off or
drive too slow? What do you think to yourself when you walk by a
homeless man or an unruly teenager? How do you react to an overwhelmed
mother with a screaming child in the supermarket?
We're pretty
consistent in our thoughts and comments to these incidents. Would your
reactions be principles you'd be proud to teach others?
Mine certainly weren't, and it was costing more than I imagined. If you
need to develop a new perspective that you're proud to maintain with
consistency, you can try the following suggestions:
Developing
A Consistent Perspective You're Proud Of:
-
Imagine
a valid reason for their behavior: Consider the idea that the
individual is performing heroically relative to their circumstances.
If they're in a hurry, maybe they actually received a desperate call involving
a loved one. If someone is late, maybe they were held up by a terrible
accident - be thankful they weren't in one themselves.
-
Think
of it as practice: If you don't particularly care about the
feelings of the individual you're dealing with, remember that every
challenging experience you are able to get through successfully will
enable you to deal with people you do care about with greater
success.
-
Imagine
you're on Candid Camera: If someone were videotaping your
performance would you be embarrassed by what you said behind their
back? Consistency means even after you leave the interaction you
don't mutter under your breath or find someone to complain to. You
are always working at understanding the situation and taking the high
road.
-
Stop
complaining, find a solution: Whining, complaining, criticizing
and feeling sorry for yourself are not what successful individuals
do. They accept that the situation simply is and find a way
to improve the situation for themselves. They don't count on anyone
else to solve their problems for them (although they may choose to find
the most qualified person to delegate to).
-
Walk
away a winner: Take the attitude that no matter how you feel
about an individual, you want to leave the interaction with them feeling
they like, respect and admire you. You're not doing it to control or
manipulate them, you're doing it so that you have the opportunity to teach
and mentor them when they finally begin asking you, "How are you able
to keep it together so well?".
-
Be
bigger than the situation: Would you argue with a 3 year
old? I've seen adults do it. It looks ridiculous and they've
lowered themselves to the level of a 3 year old! Be bigger than the
situation. Imagine that the person you're dealing with is 3
years old and you want to help them. Now what would you say?
Can you offer a different way of seeing the situation without
telling them what they should think?
-
Assume
they're right: They obviously believe their position, why
do you think that is? How is it possible someone could have the
ideas they do? Play devil's advocate with yourself and figure it
out. Once you're able to take their side, there's an excellent
chance they'll explore your position as well.
Graham White www.incrediblepotential.com
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