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Making
A Man Putty In Your Hands
From
the upcoming book "Men are Stupid, Women are Nuts" by Graham White
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As you probably
already know, men are pretty simple and not all that smart when it comes to
understanding women. Instead of
reminding them of this every time they do something that upsets and frustrates
you, use it to your advantage! If you understand how they operate, you
can train them almost as well as Pavlov's dog (if you begin with genuine care
and affection in the process).
Most women are
aware that a man will do almost anything for sex. Using sex however, is a
weapon of control rather than a means of guiding affection. Ultimately,
he will resent and eventually hate you for using it to try to change him.
There is one thing
that is more important to a man than sex with his partner... her
admiration. Statements of genuine admiration from his partner
(much like genuine enjoyment of sex by his partner) are incredibly
powerful. If done right, they can even precede correction or criticism without
upsetting him.
I'll give you a
couple of examples:
Your partner
comes home in a foul mood from a lousy day and immediately begins ruining
yours. Instead of saying, "Just because you had a lousy day,
don't begin ruining mine." say, "Honey, it sounds like you had a
really rough day. We love you and appreciate so much that you are
willing to go through that kind of day just to make sure that we're looked
after. What can I do to help you forget your problems so that you can
relax and focus on the family you love that you're doing this for?"
Your partner is
reacting to the children in a way that you think is inappropriate or harmful.
Instead of saying, "Why can't you leave her alone? She's only 5 and
you're treating her like she should behave like someone who's 15!" try,
"Honey, it means so much to me that you're a dad that actually cares
about his kids. I'm so happy that you're involved as a parent.
There are so many fathers that don't even know what's happening in their
children's lives, let alone get involved and I'm so proud to be married to one
that is. I know you love our daughter and want to see her become the
best person she can be and that it's frustrating when she doesn't see how
important the lesson is you're trying to teach her. Do you think there's
a way we can teach her how important that is without ending up in an argument
with her... or someone who could teach us the best way?"
Appreciating
Your Partner:
-
GIVE GENUINE
APPRECIATION: It takes some extra energy and maturity to think of the
things that you really love about him when you're frustrated with
him. Take a breath, count to ten, whatever you need, but think of
something you truly appreciate about him. It may seem like
you hate that part of him 100% at the moment, but you can find some
small thing that attracted you to him to let him know.
-
BEGIN WITH A
COMPLIMENT: It's the only thing men love more than sex.
Men have very fragile egos. You'll recognize this if another woman pays
him a compliment, his chest will practically explode with
pride. You can precede any issue, criticism or complaint if you
simply begin with a genuine compliment.
-
RESPOND
WITH LARGE DOSES OF AFFECTION: Take a breath, find something you
truly appreciate, begin with a compliment and as he begins to soften his
attitude or his position, follow up by responding with genuine affection
for being the wonderful, listening, caring, and responsive man who loves
you so much that he's willing to interact with you in such a positive way.
-
FOLLOW WITH
WHAT COMES NATURALLY: Have you ever wondered about those couples
that seem to fight simply to enjoy "Make-up sex"? The most
powerful aphrodisiac in the world is moving from a position of stress to a
position of love and understanding. This is true for both women and
men. The bond of closeness, affection and understanding that you
have just developed is the same feeling you had when you "Fell in
love". Falling in love is simply a feeling that this person
understands you like no other, that they will cherish and protect you and
that even when no one else is there for you, they will. If sex
naturally follows the process (and that may be later on, not immediately
following), he will get the bonus follow-up reward that will further
reinforce how great it is to work together with his partner.
Want to put this to the
test? Go get your husband and say, "Honey, I just read something
that seems totally crazy about men. I thought I should get you to read
it and let me know if those things are really true."
Even if he reads this
(hello men), and knows that you're using these techniques in what were
previously confrontational situations, he can't help but respond positively to
your genuine affection.
Graham White www.incrediblepotential.com
Men, do you want to know how to make
a man putty in your hands? The secrets are here: Making
A Woman Putty In Your Hands
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